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FranklinCovey Blog | October, 2009
Empathic Listening Tips
Being understood by others is the greatest need of all. – Stephen R. Covey
In The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey describes Empathic Listening as reflecting what a person feels and says in your own words to their satisfaction so they feel listened to and understood. Empathic Listening is not listening to advise, counsel, replay, refute, solve, fix, change, judge, agree, disagree, question, analyze, or figure out. Whether you are familiar with The 7 Habits and are looking for a refresher or new to them all together, here are a few tips to remember when using Empathic Listening.
It is best to use Empathic listening when:
- Emotion if high.
- The other person does not feel understood.
- You do not understand the other person.
- Trust is low in the relationship.
Here are a few Empathic Listening starters, these should help you get started using Empathic Listening.
- So, if I am understanding you correctly you are saying…
- What I’m hearing is…
- You seem…
- You must have felt…
- You feel…about…
What tips have you learned as you have used Empathic Listening in your life at home or at work? We would love to hear from you.
Q&A with Stephen R. Covey
Q: With every working generation, there are changes in what is motivational (e.g., Boomers vs. Gen Xers). As the mix of the generations (and cultures) continues to increase, and new cohorts enter the workforce, what approaches can we use to take advantage of this diversity to build organizational performance?
A: Synergy is celebrating diversity. So, involve people in the question you are asking and let them come up with their recommendations. Initially, start with small groups of three or four people so they are authentic and genuine in their communication and not “politically correct.” Then, let each small group share analyses and recommendations and begin to synergize at a higher level the question you are asking.
The key to this generational question is to be synergistically resolved through deep cooperation and authentic communication. Employ a great deal of empathic listening and restating another person’s point until that person feels understood. This takes a different mind-set and skill set.
How do you use diversity (the mix of generations, cultures etc…) to build organizational performance? I would love to hear from you.
This question and answer with Dr. Covey was featured in the January 2009 issue of Training Magazine.
Join Stephen R. Covey’s free social learning community at www.stephencovey.com
What is a great career?
When we say that a person has had a great career, what do we mean? That he or she made a lot of money? Moved spectacularly up the corporate ladder? Became famous or renowned in their profession? And what about you? Are you looking forward to a great career? Would you describe your current career as “great”? When you get to the end of your productive life, will you be looking back on a mediocre career? A good career? Or a great career? And how will you know?
HOW do you create a great career for yourself? Can you have a great career and still have a great life at the same time, keeping the things you love – family, friends, work, and play – all in balance?
The answer is YES – look forward to Stephen R. Covey’s new book Great Work Great Career scheduled for release on November 15, 2009. More info coming soon.
Press Release: The 7 Habits Inspire Teachers & Students Worldwide
FranklinCovey Co. (NYSE: FC) announced today that The Leader in Me, FranklinCovey’s Education process for teaching leadership at the elementary school level, is being used by more than 150 elementary schools in the U.S., Canada, Singapore, Australia, Japan, Hungary and the Philippines. The process, of which The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is a foundational piece, inspires young students to develop the skills and self-confidence to lead their lives and succeed in the 21st Century. › Continue reading
Creating a Win-Win With Your Child
As a husband, father, grandfather and most recently a great-grandfather, I am thrilled with my growing family. They are my greatest blessing and my greatest joy.
Even still I’ve wondered over the years what mistakes I have made as a father. Of course, there are mistakes along the way. Looking back I think one of the things I would have done differently as a parent is spending more time developing informal win-win agreements with each of my children. Doing this consistently and over time, covering the different phases of their lives would have been beneficial.
Because I traveled a lot, I felt that I often indulged them and went for lose-win too often. Instead I would have liked to pay the price to take the time to build relationships through win-win agreements.
You may ask, what is a win-win agreement? › Continue reading