FranklinCovey Blog

On the other side of it, I have found that people do not do the things that they really like to do (walks on beaches, reading good books, playing game with loved ones, etc.) and end up doing things that distract them such as television. So I often think that if people did the things that they actually like to do they would be happier and more successful!

Procrastination and avoidance are not things I ever want to accept, so it’s refreshing to know that even very successful people do struggle with it. I have always found it helpful to break tasks down into very small chunks, and set a target date or time for each. That way, each mini-task is easier to face, and there is a measure of progress as each gets done, rather than feeling like I am still only halfway through.

Thanks for the post, Stephen; much appreciated!

My finances. Too much month at the end of the money. I am quickly running out of reserves. Expenses can’t be reduced any more but income can.

At the moment, getting my CA driver’s license is on my to-do list. Truthfully, I find reviewing my family budget every other week with my wife to be such an avoidance. Each month we account for our revenues and expenses, but actually making serious and contemplative projections are non-existant.

By admitting this I certainly feel better; even to people I’ve never known.

Thank you Stephen Covey.

I always ask myself, why put this off, you have to do it eventually, so do it now and make room for the things you love to do the next day. Eventually, you will have to focus less and less on the things that create little value and more and more of the things that add value.

Back in 1996 my career made a backslide. Project engineer for 8 years then back down to engineering associate after 2 rounds of unemployment. The last 10 years I made a partial comeback but don’t seem to get past the high standards of the manager I now report to. Yes I do count my blessings, too, but would like to reopen my career to things I valued in the ’80s-’90s bubble I enjoyed.

Family photos. There are boxes that have been collected from relatives that have passed away or have sold their homes. They have collected and multiplied. I don’t know how to start the project to determine which photos are to save, how to label them and learn who is portrayed, and then how to store them or digitize them for future generations. Having an unknown (not enough knowledge to feel comfortable taking action) has kept me immobolized on this project, hence the procrastination.

Dear Stephen,

I rather have a different problem here…I have just passed out of college and waiting for my call letter from company. While i was in college i had this person as one of my best friends ever. I always looked up for her and she did the same. But after college, just for no reason at all she ignores me. She won’t take to me anymore and won’t meet me at all. I am just so disappointed. For 3 months now i have been worrying a lot…But this has definitely not affected my other work. I am doing a research in my college and the despair she gave has not affected my work here. But still i feel so confused thinking why she is avoiding me. I know i can feel a lot better if i could just let her go too…But i’m just trying i vain..Pls write to me if you can Stephen.
Thanks.

I find it really ironic that you would send out this blog posting exactly 4 days after I started avoiding a simple yet powerful task.

I have avoided trying to contact you Stephen. I wrote a letter to you on Monday, and it has sat on my desktop all week, and I have unconsciously avoided sending it out until your twitter post woke me out of my avoidance.

So I am going to stop avoiding that right now.

Stephen,

Can you send me an email address where I can direct a 1 page letter your way? I truly believe that is a very important letter for you to read, and that you will appreciate it.

With gratitude and respect
Mark Miller

I’m currently engaged in a career search, and I’m having a difficult time handling the details of the search. Creating customized cover letters, rewriting my resume to make it more appropriate for a lead, etc. I am aggressively pursuing the human side of the equation-networking, thank you notes, phone calls and even applying for positions. I need to take time, and discipline to step back and sharpen my career search saw.

Your pivotal book, “Seven Habits” I regret to say took me a long time to pick up. Why is it that wisdom is wasted on the mature? I could have used these principles many years earlier, using the seemingly inexhaustable energy of the young. But there you go. This is what people do. About the time they get smart about things, their bodies protest.

Even when I picked up the book, it took over four months to get past Habit 3. I vowed not to continue until I had incorporated that habit in to my life. It took those many months to do something about it. What is it, and why was it so hard?

Walking. I have multiple health issues (diabetes, blood pressure, joint pain) that would all be relieved with a little additional exercise.

But this is a habit I had never incorporated in to my life. Once I did, it had a dramatic effect on my confidence, bearing, energy… I could go on. Not only that, it only took me a few weeks to complete the rest of the book. The rest was easy, as I had incorporated many of those habits already.

I continue to explore ways to trick an old body to accept new habits. Do I incorporate them slowly, allowing the mind and body to adjust? Or, as I now suspect, make it routine. Do it the same time and same day every week. Do it so consistently, I miss it if it’s not there.

I have a list of “Put First Things First”. It has grown out of the 7 Habits 3 Day Signature Program and the question in the contract, p. 14 Live the Habit, “Ever thought about what you might do if you knew you could not fail?” I found this question very hard at first, my mind wanted to think short term. Maybe because I wanted to get some wins under my belt. Maybe I was scared to stick my neck out on a big goal and fail right out of the gate. While I did a small goal in the last month. Also to mention Ken Larson, our 7 Habits coach of http://www.championpsi.com had said several times take off bite sized chunks. I was putting off exercise on a regular basis, but a free membership was given to me as a prize. A gift from the universe. All I had to do was put on my running shoes and get down there. Last 2 weeks, I have gone 3 times in the week. So now that this is a change, I don’t consider it a habit yet !!!! I move down the ranked list and work to Plan the week with my goals mixed in to the hectic life of 2009. Let me see what my Blackberry says to do next ??

The next areas / roles of my life that I would say I am avoiding are my two children. I want to be a Win / Win Father and when I’m 80 they will both say, when we talked to Dad he was great at habit 5 of Stephen Covey’s material. He followed the principle, “To communicate effectively, we must first understand each other”. Our Dad understood us, and here is the talking stick he would let us hold until we thought he understood.

That is what I’m currently avoiding. Just off 5 hours of FaceBook, Twitter and Linked in. And doing this post for Stephen Covey. Social Media, but not face to face 2 very important people in my life right now. My role as a Dad.

Let me say that taking the 3 day Stephen Covey course was exactly what I needed. Thank you to the entire organization for your dedication to helping people change, one habit at a time.

Stephen,
The 7 habits thought me the power of being proactive with the end in mind, thank to you Stephen.
I am from Bahrain and I am certified Trainer of 7 habits of highly effective people. I am doing my best to teach this among my family and friends. One of my mission in life is to develop the youth of Bahrain and influence them to be highly effective people/leaders/managers and students. One of the thing I am avoiding is quitting my full time job in Human Resources Management in one of the banks, in order to focus in my mission in life. My only excuse is funding my 2 children who are studying in the UK and USA. They depend on me financially, I am still trap in this dilemma..any advice

I’ve beem procrastinating about getting some projects done because of fear of execution.

That made sense, Stephen. Thanks.

Personally, I’ve been avoiding stepping up as an adult. I’ve been ranting about the system my elders imposed but did nothing about it because I have been expecting them to be the ones to fix the “problem”. Since they are more mature, I expected them to exert effort in understanding me and not the other way around.

I am a young adult now and am trying to change this mentality. I do not have an excuse anymore. I am now of legal age and just finished college. I am trying to stop avoiding the responsibility the responsibility of adults. I realized that I did not need to grow older to be responsible. I knew what was wrong and should have done something to fix that. Now, there’s nothing for me to wait for. I must act.

Seven Habits was a life changing read for me. Really revolutionized the way I think about life. Thanks.

I kinda agree with Barb from the comment above; the things I really want to do, the important, purpose driven things (like write a book), seem to always get subordinated by the things that are not productive or not lined up with my purpose.

I have learned that what keeps us from pursuing our purpose and from focusing on the things that are important/not urgent is fear and self doubt. Sometimes maybe we feel like we don’t deserve to pursue the things that we really want. For me, I found myself being in love with dreaming about the future but focusing no time putting some action behind it.

What are your thoughts?

Dear Dr Covey, What am I avoiding? I think It is writing.

I am avoiding writing my second book. And I have sufficient reasons to do it. I shall like to mention at least three of them-

1. Feeling of failure – I got my first book published on a very new and innovative idea on UNLEARNING. I was very optimistic that people will pick this book and read it in large numbers however nothing happened like that. I failed and today I apprehend that my second book should not meet the same fate.

2. Lack of resources – I spent my three years in working on my first book. I spent my earnings of last 20 years. I spent my money, time and resources. Today I do not have sufficient resource to work on my second book so I am avoiding writing.

3. Do not know First Thing any more – It was your book First Things First which helped me to write my first book in three years time. In last few years when I tried hard for my book to be read by people, I fogot the concept of first things. Today I am lost. I do not have confidence to define my frist things so avoid doing it.

Through your book, you have helped me in the past. Even if I was born in a developing nation and I was deprived of meeting great minds (Even today I am deprived), I could read great ideas through books and Internet to create my own big ideas. I did it but now when I am on path of avoidance, I realy do not know how are you going to help me. But then it is hope, humanity and purpose to do great jobs, keep me going.

When Ravindra Nath Tagore could get some British in the early 20th century, I might also get some Americans or British or Germans to define my first things again.

Thanks for being available to the people of developing world.

kamekish

I am afraid of driving my car. I have driving licence, I have an official car, but I am so scared and I avoid driving it.

vacuuming, photo culling, throwing away old teaching papers,writing to relatives