I am avoiding writing my second book. And I have sufficient reasons to do it. I shall like to mention at least three of them-

1. Feeling of failure – I got my first book published on a very new and innovative idea on UNLEARNING. I was very optimistic that people will pick this book and read it in large numbers however nothing happened like that. I failed and today I apprehend that my second book should not meet the same fate.

2. Lack of resources – I spent my three years in working on my first book. I spent my earnings of last 20 years. I spent my money, time and resources. Today I do not have sufficient resource to work on my second book so I am avoiding writing.

3. Do not know First Thing any more – It was your book First Things First which helped me to write my first book in three years time. In last few years when I tried hard for my book to be read by people, I fogot the concept of first things. Today I am lost. I do not have confidence to define my frist things so avoid doing it.

Through your book, you have helped me in the past. Even if I was born in a developing nation and I was deprived of meeting great minds (Even today I am deprived), I could read great ideas through books and Internet to create my own big ideas. I did it but now when I am on path of avoidance, I realy do not know how are you going to help me. But then it is hope, humanity and purpose to do great jobs, keep me going.

When Ravindra Nath Tagore could get some British in the early 20th century, I might also get some Americans or British or Germans to define my first things again.

Thanks for being available to the people of developing world.

kamekish

I kinda agree with Barb from the comment above; the things I really want to do, the important, purpose driven things (like write a book), seem to always get subordinated by the things that are not productive or not lined up with my purpose.

I have learned that what keeps us from pursuing our purpose and from focusing on the things that are important/not urgent is fear and self doubt. Sometimes maybe we feel like we don’t deserve to pursue the things that we really want. For me, I found myself being in love with dreaming about the future but focusing no time putting some action behind it.

What are your thoughts?

Personally, I’ve been avoiding stepping up as an adult. I’ve been ranting about the system my elders imposed but did nothing about it because I have been expecting them to be the ones to fix the “problem”. Since they are more mature, I expected them to exert effort in understanding me and not the other way around.

I am a young adult now and am trying to change this mentality. I do not have an excuse anymore. I am now of legal age and just finished college. I am trying to stop avoiding the responsibility the responsibility of adults. I realized that I did not need to grow older to be responsible. I knew what was wrong and should have done something to fix that. Now, there’s nothing for me to wait for. I must act.

The next areas / roles of my life that I would say I am avoiding are my two children. I want to be a Win / Win Father and when I’m 80 they will both say, when we talked to Dad he was great at habit 5 of Stephen Covey’s material. He followed the principle, “To communicate effectively, we must first understand each other”. Our Dad understood us, and here is the talking stick he would let us hold until we thought he understood.

That is what I’m currently avoiding. Just off 5 hours of FaceBook, Twitter and Linked in. And doing this post for Stephen Covey. Social Media, but not face to face 2 very important people in my life right now. My role as a Dad.

Let me say that taking the 3 day Stephen Covey course was exactly what I needed. Thank you to the entire organization for your dedication to helping people change, one habit at a time.

Even when I picked up the book, it took over four months to get past Habit 3. I vowed not to continue until I had incorporated that habit in to my life. It took those many months to do something about it. What is it, and why was it so hard?

Walking. I have multiple health issues (diabetes, blood pressure, joint pain) that would all be relieved with a little additional exercise.

But this is a habit I had never incorporated in to my life. Once I did, it had a dramatic effect on my confidence, bearing, energy… I could go on. Not only that, it only took me a few weeks to complete the rest of the book. The rest was easy, as I had incorporated many of those habits already.

I continue to explore ways to trick an old body to accept new habits. Do I incorporate them slowly, allowing the mind and body to adjust? Or, as I now suspect, make it routine. Do it the same time and same day every week. Do it so consistently, I miss it if it’s not there.

I have avoided trying to contact you Stephen. I wrote a letter to you on Monday, and it has sat on my desktop all week, and I have unconsciously avoided sending it out until your twitter post woke me out of my avoidance.

So I am going to stop avoiding that right now.

Stephen,

Can you send me an email address where I can direct a 1 page letter your way? I truly believe that is a very important letter for you to read, and that you will appreciate it.

With gratitude and respect
Mark Miller

I rather have a different problem here…I have just passed out of college and waiting for my call letter from company. While i was in college i had this person as one of my best friends ever. I always looked up for her and she did the same. But after college, just for no reason at all she ignores me. She won’t take to me anymore and won’t meet me at all. I am just so disappointed. For 3 months now i have been worrying a lot…But this has definitely not affected my other work. I am doing a research in my college and the despair she gave has not affected my work here. But still i feel so confused thinking why she is avoiding me. I know i can feel a lot better if i could just let her go too…But i’m just trying i vain..Pls write to me if you can Stephen.
Thanks.

By admitting this I certainly feel better; even to people I’ve never known.

Thank you Stephen Covey.

Thanks for the post, Stephen; much appreciated!