FranklinCovey Blog | Executive Mama
Great Work, Great Career is the #2 book in Shanghai!
Great Work, Great Career is the #2 book in Shanghai! Learn more at:
http://www.shanghaidaily.com/article/?id=451783&type=Opinion
Author: Jennifer Colosimo, Chief Operations Officer at FranklinCovey
Follow Jennifer on Twitter at: http://twitter.com/jencolosimo
Career Focus—Act Without Vision If You Have To.
“It takes as much energy to wish as it does to plan.”—Eleanor Roosevelt
Paradox: If the vision doesn’t come to you immediately, act without vision.
When Ann Dunwoody, a U.S. Army lieutenant general, was nominated to be the first female four-star general in the nation’s history, she said: “I grew up in a family that didn’t know what glass ceilings were.” One imagines that to ascend the ranks and break down barriers, Ann Dunwoody must have uncovered her vision at a young age. Her father was, in fact, a career Army officer and she joined the Army immediately following graduation from college. Unlike Ann, many of us, myself included, fumble along not knowing what we are “meant to do.” My high school talent survey came up with three possible jobs I was well suited for: an accountant, because I have decent math skills and can focus intensely on a problem, a forest ranger, presumably because I love to hike and camp, and a fashion model (?) which only makes sense in light of the fact that I used to spend a lot of time on my hair. (It was the 80’s and it took a long time to get my bangs to stand straight up and stay there.)
Why didn’t the talent survey suggest “CEO” or “President of the United States,” jobs that both require math and problem-solving skills and can have immense impact on the environment? And the even better question, why would I complain about the talent survey outcomes? At least I’m American, where accountant and forest ranger are possibilities for women. There are plenty of places where women don’t have any options beyond “make dinner.”
But here is the problem for many of us who are not Ann Dunwoody: we are frozen, inactive, waiting for our “calling” our “best life” our “mission and vision” to hit us on the head like a religious conversion. And until then, we’ll remain vaguely dissatisfied with the world and ourselves. There is a book on theology written by Dick Gilbert that quotes an anonymous author avoiding the call to leadership by saying, “Give me causes, O God, to theorize, argue, talk about. Let me think of problems far away.” Because it is safer to theorize at the water cooler or post complaints on a blog then to act.
I say, “ACT!”
Then reflect.
Invest time thinking about what you’re doing.
Write about your actions.
And from that, a vision will emerge. Susan B. Anthony is a great example. She was an active Abolitionist, taught school for 15 years, then worked in the temperance movement. Because she was a woman, she was not allowed to speak at temperance rallies. This experience, along with her acquaintance with Elizabeth Cady Stanton, led her to join the women’s rights movement in 1852. Soon after, she dedicated her life to woman suffrage, working tirelessly as President of the National American Woman Suffrage Association until she retired at age 80. Women earned the right to vote with the passage of the Nineteenth Amendment in 1920, 14 years after her death.
When did her vision become clear? In hindsight, she was “meant” to lead the suffrage movement. But everything she did until that point led to her being uniquely prepared to lead. I always tell my daughters, “Luck favors the prepared.” Opportunity is not going to strike working toward something with focus and dedication, continuously learning, and upgrading your contribution.
Author: Jennifer Colosimo, Chief Operations Officer at FranklinCovey
Follow Jennifer on Twitter at: http://twitter.com/jencolosimo
Promotions and Career Stalls: More in Common Than You Might Think
I was recently promoted. That same week I coached some mid-career professionals who feel like their careers had “stalled.” I was surprised how much we had in common regarding how we felt, how others reacted to us, and then how we veered off in wildly different directions when it came to our plans of action. First, in common:
- I’m not yet sure what to do that would have the highest and greatest impact on the people, processes, and systems that I have been promoted into leading. I think my uncertainty can be solved by listening to people, building relationships, studying the financials, and figuring out the organizational need that my unique blend of talents and passions are best suited to address. Then I need to talk with people about the problem I’d like to solve and the contribution I’d like to make and working with them to make an impact. Interestingly, the career stalls have the same uncertainty about what to do. And I would suggest they consider the same a plan of action.
- In the case of my new role and in the case of those experiencing a stall in their current role, the reaction of people around you could be described as opposite sides of the same coin. Some people are genuinely helpful. Some exhibit signs of worry as to how your level of influence (or lack thereof) will influence their level of influence (or lack thereof) and some are clearly steering clear—hoping to avoid the work of being pulled into your circle of potential/despair.
- Both promotions and career stalls are rare opportunities to be creative, innovative, and impactful. For myself and others it seems common sense to view a promotion as an opportunity. But a career slump doesn’t have the same motivational spark—the spark must be self-created. If those in a slump saw it as a time for creativity and action, they would get better results. Particularly when compared to the choice to give up. Or even worse, to give in to cynicism and to spread that cynicism like the flu.
From a Jewish prayer (paraphrased): “I must do my allotted task with unwavering faithfulness even though the eye of no taskmaster is upon me. I must be strong even when slander distorts my noblest intent.” And luck must shine upon me (my addition).
Author: Jennifer Colosimo, Chief Operations Officer at FranklinCovey
Follow Jennifer on Twitter at: http://twitter.com/jencolosimo
Executive Mamas Help Other Mamas
“Worldwide, women are at the greatest risk of being poor. Research and experience have also shown that women in poor countries are more likely to use their income for food, healthcare and education for their children, helping to lift entire communities out of poverty. However, women face unequal social and economic barriers that prevent them from earning a living and supporting their families.”—Women Thrive Website
There are women in this world who have very few choices. One billion people – one out of every six human beings – live in extreme poverty, struggling to survive on about $1 a day. The majority are women. One out of every three women worldwide will be physically, sexually or otherwise abused during her lifetime with rates reaching 70 percent in some countries. As an Executive Mama, you have a responsibility to other mamas. To inspire you to action, watch the Video Preview of Stone at http://bit.ly/KWWyX. And then do something. Join some of these executive mamas in making a difference for women. › Continue reading
Milestones
As my daughter completes her senior year in high school, it strikes me that, in the U.S. anyway, many of our milestone celebrations have gotten bigger and bigger over the last 20 years. In the month of May, I will be attending senior breakfast, senior athletic awards, senior academic awards, senior choir performance, after-Prom (senior’s parents are expected to volunteer)—not to mention my attendance at numerous graduation parties and my expected contributions to the senior video, the senior scrapbook, and the individual tribute to my own senior done in the shape of a guitar. Seriously.
I’ve seen similar increase in the intensity in weddings, “coming-of-age” celebrations, and even yearly sales conferences, both ours and the many client’s conferences at which I speak. In a good year, at a Fortune 500 company, you’re looking at cheerleaders, fireworks, gifts every night in your room, and elaborate activities like race car driving on top of the usual recognitions. › Continue reading
How to Change Your Paradigms
I was passing through the family room when a horse jockey on TV shared with a new co-worker that the photo on his clipboard was of his 18 year old daughter. I have a 17-year-old daughter so I stopped to listen. His daughter had died nine months ago. At the end of the show, the race track at which he worked named the spring racing series in honor of the jockey’s daughter. I was sobbing, at a reality show. And I finally understood: this is why people love reality shows. They love the story—success, failure, villainy, and redemption.
Reality show stories may stretch the truth or overemphasize some facts over others, but no more than the stories we tell about ourselves to ourselves. Stephen Covey calls this our paradigms, the way we see the world. Jim Loehr, the author of The Power of Full Engagement, the best Habit 7/Sharpen the Saw book out there, says that we have stories about our work, our families, our health; about what we’re capable of achieving. In his book, The Power of Story, Dr. Loehr says that editing our dysfunctional stories can transform our business and personal lives. › Continue reading
Saying “No” Effectively
Sometimes a request may come your way, but it doesn’t align with highest priorities. At work, it is a cubicle drive-by, an IM, or an e-mail:
“Lisa, could your team . . .”
And you think, “We could, but it doesn’t align with what is important to the organization right now or my team’s critical path.” Don’t say that, not unless you think you can get results without relationships (you can’t, not long-term anyway) OR as a last result.
At home, it is a phone call at 7:00 p.m.: “Hi Teresa, the Girl Scout cookie mom can’t do it again this year. Can I put you down for it?”
And your mind races: “But I already volunteered to chaperone the camping trip, and help with the school carnival, not to mention my work on the Food Bank fundraiser . . .but wouldn’t a good mother, a mother who didn’t work, wouldn’t she say yes?”
Let me be clear, Executive Mamas don’t say “yes” to everything. They sometimes say “no”—EFFECTIVELY, in a way that builds relationships and reputation, not in a way that destroys them.
Here’s some suggestions:
To a boss:
“I’d be happy to. I am currently working on x, y, and z. Could we re-visit the timing on those so I could complete this project?”
“Of course. This looks like about 3 days worth of work. Should I table x, y, and z and work on this for the next three days? Or is b an acceptable completion date?”
“Could you tell me a little bit more so I could see how this fits in with my other commitments?”
To a colleague:
“I’m not sure. Let’s talk about deadlines, scope, final product so I can tell you if I could help.”
“I can’t do it by x. Is y soon enough?”
“I have to tell you—I don’t know that I can. Maybe I can offer up some thoughts as to how you might accomplish that without me?”
To a child who wants to add another after school activity to their already packed schedule:
“No, no, a thousand times no! Don’t you see that this overlaps with basketball practice? How can you expect to add another drop off/pick up to your already Presidential schedule?” (OK, that one was a bit autobiographical and not very effective. But I strongly believe you should tell them the truth. I know a woman who refuses to accept that little Sally might miss one activity, one party, one experience. Sally is a horrible child because she believes the entire world revolves around her desires. )
Executive Mamas say no. With grace.
Author: Jennifer Colosimo, Chief Learning Officer at FranklinCovey
Follow Jennifer on Twitter at: http://twitter.com/jencolosimo
How Does She Do It?
Several years ago Allison Pearson wrote a very funny book called I Don’t Know How She Does It, based on the fact that the primary question other women ask working mothers is “How do you do it?” The character, Kate, is the mother of two children and the manager of a hedge fund. One of my favorite quotes:
The women in the offices of EMF [Kate's firm] don’t tend to display pictures of their kids. The higher they go up the ladder, the fewer the photographs. If a man has pictures of kids on his desk, it enhances his humanity; if a woman has them it decreases hers. Why? Because he’s not supposed to be home with the children; she is.
I find that when people ask me, “How do you do it?” some are registering their disapproval, per the quote above. Most—80%– are women who are truly looking for hints, tricks, anything to help them with their busy lives › Continue reading
Great Work, Great Career

This week I have a book coming out called Great Work, Great Career about finding and great work building, over time, a great career. It focuses on how you contribute, what you contribute, and tactical elements like interviewing, writing resumes, and focusing on what you can influence, not on what you can’t. You can see some blog posts regarding the book (some of them mine) in the Great Work, Great Career blog page. You can also follow me on Twitter at: http://twitter.com/jencolosimo.
Of course, Executive Mamas build Great Careers. How is yours going?
Author: Jennifer Colosimo, Chief Learning Officer at FranklinCovey
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Building Trust
I was in a meeting earlier this week with 20 people from around the world and the strangest feeling came over me. I trusted everyone in the room—their intent, their integrity, and their ability to deliver.
Maybe this happens to you all the time. Maybe if I were quicker to extend trust it would happen more often to me. But as it currently stands, sometimes I feel like I don’t know enough about a person—their character and competence—to trust. Sometimes a person has behaved in ways that have broken trust. Regardless, it is rare for me to trust an entire room full of people. And it felt great! You’ll laugh, but I felt tears spring to my eyes when I thought about it. It didn’t mean I agreed with them on everything or that the meeting was easy, but things were easier to achieve because I assumed good intent.
I had worked with everyone in that room for at least three years and with some for over a decade. I trusted them because they had kept commitments, they had talked to me straight, and they all delivered results. Does this happen to you often? Or never? What else builds trust for Executive Mamas?
Author: Jennifer Colosimo, Chief Learning Officer at FranklinCovey


