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FranklinCovey Blog | From the Desk of Stephen R. Covey
How Good Are You at Getting Along with Others?
USA Weekend just published my article “7 Highly Effective Ways to Help Americans Get Along” on January 17. This article is very timely. We seem to be at an all-time low for civility and discourse. Time and time again we hear of people having outbursts and dialogue is missing, even at the highest levels of government. What can we do to change that? How can we find ways to get along and build respect and understanding? How good are you at getting along?
To read my article, please go to www.stephencovey.com. By becoming a member of my free online social community, you will be able to access my article and the self-quiz “How Good Are You at Getting Along?” › Continue reading
How to Learn from Failures
I think that successful people often share similar characteristics. Over time I have come to believe that the one thing successful people have most in common is that they find success on the far side of failure.
What do I mean by finding success on the far side of failure? Well I find that almost all successful people have experienced significant failures in life or in their work, but they have learned from their failures.
On the other hand, it seems that people who don’t recognize their failures or don’t seek learning from them, are often the ones failing again and again. Why? Because they haven’t learned the lessons from the failure—they haven’t gained self-awareness or understanding; they haven’t understood others or their marketplace; they haven’t developed the maturity for humility and integrity—and they find themselves repeating their mistakes again and again.
Think about the failures or mistakes you have made. How did you respond to them? What outcomes did you get? How have they helped you today? What can you learn from your failures?
I would love to hear from you.
Remember if you want to make significant progress in your life, don’t forget to find success on the far side of failure!
Join my free social learning community at www.stephencovey.com
Q&A with Stephen R. Covey
Q: With every working generation, there are changes in what is motivational (e.g., Boomers vs. Gen Xers). As the mix of the generations (and cultures) continues to increase, and new cohorts enter the workforce, what approaches can we use to take advantage of this diversity to build organizational performance?
A: Synergy is celebrating diversity. So, involve people in the question you are asking and let them come up with their recommendations. Initially, start with small groups of three or four people so they are authentic and genuine in their communication and not “politically correct.” Then, let each small group share analyses and recommendations and begin to synergize at a higher level the question you are asking.
The key to this generational question is to be synergistically resolved through deep cooperation and authentic communication. Employ a great deal of empathic listening and restating another person’s point until that person feels understood. This takes a different mind-set and skill set.
How do you use diversity (the mix of generations, cultures etc…) to build organizational performance? I would love to hear from you.
This question and answer with Dr. Covey was featured in the January 2009 issue of Training Magazine.
Join Stephen R. Covey’s free social learning community at www.stephencovey.com
Creating a Win-Win With Your Child
As a husband, father, grandfather and most recently a great-grandfather, I am thrilled with my growing family. They are my greatest blessing and my greatest joy.
Even still I’ve wondered over the years what mistakes I have made as a father. Of course, there are mistakes along the way. Looking back I think one of the things I would have done differently as a parent is spending more time developing informal win-win agreements with each of my children. Doing this consistently and over time, covering the different phases of their lives would have been beneficial.
Because I traveled a lot, I felt that I often indulged them and went for lose-win too often. Instead I would have liked to pay the price to take the time to build relationships through win-win agreements.
You may ask, what is a win-win agreement? › Continue reading
What are you avoiding?
As I have been contemplating the struggles that all of us go through in life, I am reminded of this powerful quote by Albert E. N. Gray:
“The successful person has the habit of doing things failures don’t like to do. They don’t like doing them either necessarily. But their disliking is subordinated to the strength of their purpose.”
I invite you to ponder on this idea in your own life. What are the things you know you have to do but are avoiding? If you were to discipline yourself and create a plan for doing those things, would you find positive, even breakthrough rewards?
For me, I know when I have avoided doing something, I have eventually seen that I’ve paid an even higher price by avoidance. For example, when I neglect my health by not eating right, exercising, or getting enough sleep, because I find it hard to stick to a disciplined regiment, I find myself feeling sluggish and not doing my best work. When I finally subordinate my dislikes to the strength of my purpose, things turn around.
I challenge you to contemplate your life and identify something you are avoiding and make a promise to yourself that you will do it. Make a promise and keep it. Subordinate the things you dislike doing to your greater purpose. I am confident that you the more you do this, the more strength you will build-and the more success you will find. What have you been avoiding? What is the end result you would like to see in your life?
Join my free social learning community at www.stephencovey.com
Becoming a Trim Tab at Work
Imagine you are at the helm of a huge ship moving forward at high speed. You’re the driver, you control the direction of this ship. Now, how is it possible for a single, small person to change the course of something so massive?
To change the ship’s course, you move a steering wheel that operates a rudder, which then turns the ship. But the rudder itself can be enormous, perhaps even ten stories tall on some ocean liners. So what moves the rudder?
A tiny second rudder called a trim tab, which is attached to the big rudder. › Continue reading
Strengthening Families in Turbulent Times
This Spring I made a presentation on strengthening families in times of crisis. Gathered in the room were people who had recently lost their jobs and now find themselves looking for new work in a very tough environment. This gathering, of course, was a snapshot of millions of people all over the U.S. and in many parts of the world.
We know that being out of work can have a troubling impact on families. The stress, worry and pressure often impact a person’s ability to be the spouse or parent they want to be. Communication might break down. Quarrels might increase. Family members might feel neglected, scared or withdrawn.
In these kinds of situations, I have always counseled people to focus on those who are the most important in their lives and what matters most. Yes, being out of a job might have you in a crisis, but isn’t your family your most precious possession? So what can we do to strengthen our families in good times or in times of trouble? › Continue reading
Be Proactive – The Most Important Habit
I am often asked if there is one habit out of the 7 Habits that is more important than the others. Of course, if you ask me all the habits are important and they form an inter-connected whole or a continuum. I believe for maximum effectiveness, you have to build from one to the other and apply them consistently. From that perspective, Habit 1: Be Proactive provides the foundation for all the other habits. Habit 1 is, undoubtedly, the foundation for leadership at home or at work because it begins with the mindset “I am responsible for me, and I can choose.”All the other habits are dependent upon being proactive and choosing to master and practicing principle-centered living.
The key to being proactive is remembering that between stimulus and response there is a space. That space represents our choice- how we will choose to respond to any given situation, person, thought or event. › Continue reading
Landing a New Job in a Tough Economy
In these unpredictable times it is likely that you or someone you know is looking for a job. I have had several people approach me for advice and insight on matters concerning professional development, whether looking for a new position or looking to advance in their current role. I have seen the tremendous need for direction and guidance on this topic. As a result, this August I will be hosting a professional development webinar series. The topics I will cover are Employability, Resilience, and Contribution. But until then I would like to share a couple thoughts to help you or someone else find new work.
Times have changed. One of the things I often tell people is that you can’t do a job-search the way you used to. Most people have relied heavily on a job application form and a resume. Typically, that just doesn’t work anymore, although those are useful things and most times necessary. In today’s world you have to adopt a new mindset for finding and securing a job-and not just a job but work that you would find meaningful. › Continue reading
Managing Fear and Insecurity
Much of our world is gripped with a sense of fear and insecurity–fear of losing jobs, homes, or our future. In such a state of insecurity and vulnerability, it is easy to see why people might resign to being in survival mode and looking out only for themselves, at home, at work or in the community. In this environment people tend to respond by being more and more independent. The mindset becomes: “I’m going to focus on ‘me and mine.’
Certainly, independence is vital; however, the problem is that we live in an interdependent reality. Our most important work, the problems we hope to solve or the opportunities we hope to realize require working and collaborating with other people in a high-trust, synergistic way-whether at home or at work. Having an interdependent mindset, skills and tools are vital, especially now as we work through challenges unlike anything most of us have ever seen in our life time.
The principles found in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People are all about helping people learn how to understand and build interdependence. The more we really understand and practice the habits, the more we will build the core skills and character necessary to successfully respond to the many challenges that will inevitably come our way. As a result, we will be able to manage our fears and insecurities, and take charge of our lives-which, in turn, can reduce our fears and insecurities.
Are you focusing on practicing interdependence? What differences have you seen in your life?
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Author: Stephen R. Covey