As a husband, father, grandfather and most recently a great-grandfather, I am thrilled with my growing family. They are my greatest blessing and my greatest joy.

Even still I’ve wondered over the years what mistakes I have made as a father. Of course, there are mistakes along the way. Looking back I think one of the things I would have done differently as a parent is spending more time developing informal win-win agreements with each of my children. Doing this consistently and over time, covering the different phases of their lives would have been beneficial.

Because I traveled a lot, I felt that I often indulged them and went for lose-win too often. Instead I would have liked to pay the price to take the time to build relationships through win-win agreements.

You may ask, what is a win-win agreement? Start by thinking about your own relationships with your children. What can you do to create more win-win? You may want to try creating win-win agreements with them to involve them more in decision-making, problem-solving and being accountable. Find a problem or issue you want to work on. Talk openly to your child about their needs or desires (their win). Explain what is a win for you. Then come up with ideas for meeting your child’s needs in a way that will also meet your needs. Set up specific expectations, to-dos and outcomes. I would recommend putting this down on paper and having you both sign it so you can always go back to it in case of questions. This also creates accountability. Will you try this with your children?

I am certain the more you create win-win with your children, the more trust you will build with them—and you’ll model for them one of the most important skills they need to thrive in their relationships not only in the family but in all their relationships, now and in the future.

How will you start to create a win-win with your child today?

Author: Stephen R. Covey

Certainly, independence is vital; however, the problem is that we live in an interdependent reality. Our most important work, the problems we hope to solve or the opportunities we hope to realize require working and collaborating with other people in a high-trust, synergistic way-whether at home or at work. Having an interdependent mindset, skills and tools are vital, especially now as we work through challenges unlike anything most of us have ever seen in our life time.

The principles found in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People are all about helping people learn how to understand and build interdependence. The more we really understand and practice the habits, the more we will build the core skills and character necessary to successfully respond to the many challenges that will inevitably come our way. As a result, we will be able to manage our fears and insecurities, and take charge of our lives-which, in turn, can reduce our fears and insecurities.

Are you focusing on practicing interdependence? What differences have you seen in your life?

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Author: Stephen R. Covey